I Can't Keep It In
by Nix Wolfwood
Summary: Katie spent six years at Hogwarts with a secret. Will she tell anyone before it's too late?


**_Oh look, another Katie/Lee story from yours truly. Who would've ever excepted it?_

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I Can't Hold it in Forever

_Lucid-03-days

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It's funny in a way, how quickly six years can pass without even the slightest realization. I mean the time is obviously passing, but it is taken for granted. I'm guilty of such a crime.

I came to this school about six years ago. Shortly afterwards I developed a small crush on a certain boy. Not just any boy, mind you, but the infamous dreadlock-headed Lee Jordan.

For six years I miraculously kept my secret well hidden. Only watching him from the corner of my eyes when given the chance. To anybody on the outside of my mind he was just a friend, nothing more.

Nobody noticed, and that was the way I wanted it. 'Better safe than sorry' was my motto. Well, that's what I wanted to believe. Not my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is coming to an end.

What's so bad about sixth year ending, you might ask. Well, I'll tell you. I came to this school a year after Lee did. So, when I entered first year, he was already in second. Anybody with sense will understand that I'm saying he's graduating this year.

It's not exactly the perfect time to admit my feelings for him. Maybe if it were a year ago it might've worked out, but not now. He's almost left for the real world. What Hogwarts graduate would date a mere student?

But still, I can't help fantasizing about what could've happened. Sure, the rejection possibility existed. Nevertheless, I still say 'what if'? Everybody has at least one major regret in life. I suppose this one is mine.

Speaking of fantasizing, one of my favorite dreams is one of Lee asking and taking me to the Yule Ball. (The one that took place last year during my fifth year.) Instead he went with a sixth year Hufflepuff, I think. That would've been amazing, dancing with him I mean. We would've left early for a walk around the grounds, admitting all our hidden feelings. The night would've ended with an incredible kiss.

Maybe if I didn't act so nonchalantly about him, he would've noticed me. Other guys seemed to. But then, other guys aren't Lee Jordan, so they don't mean anything. If I wasn't been such an idiot my first kiss would've taken place and…

I really need to stop beating myself up. I can't change the past, only my future. But what can I do to give him at least a hint? That is my problem; I can't work out school problems, but not real life situations. I'm lucky I have one more year to do so before I have something really confusing happen.

Anyway, back to the crisis at hand. Maybe I can send him a note or something. There's nothing wrong with a friendly note…or a graduation card. Sure, it's about a month early but who's to say that's wrong? I can easily make him one; I'm pretty talented with charms like that. But what would I write in it? Boys are just too confusing for womankind.

I got it, the perfect words. They're not too obvious, but also not completely understandable. You've got to love those muggle writers; they have some powerful words in their lyrics.

_Dear Lee,_

_Think of me_

_Think of me fondly when we've said goodbye_

_Remember me_

_Once in a while, please promise me you'll try._

_Love,_

_Katie_

It's a small portion of the song. Hopefully he'll understand it and I won't have to feel like a complete idiot. Now I just have to find the courage to walk this over to him. It's not like it's that bad, he's just sitting by himself studying for NEWTs or something evil like that. I guess that means I'll get the courage when I'm old and gray. Come on Bell, where's the Gryffindor in me? Just walk over and hand it to him!

"What's this for?"

"Nothing really, just a graduation card. I thought I'd have a better chance of you reading it now then when you actually graduate."

I can't believe I did it! What if he thinks I'm stupid? I think I'll go burry myself right now. I'm such a moron!

"Don't worry Katie, I could never forget you."

It's smiles like those that help me remember the feelings I have for him.

Qué sera, what ever will be will be. I know one thing is for certain, I'll never forget Lee Jordan for as long as I shall live.

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**_A/N: Please leave a review. It's getting kinda sad looking at my Lee/Katie stories and seeing hardly anything._**


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